Sick as a Dog!....Actually, I think the Dog is in Better Shape!

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Head pounding

Body aching

Movements slowed

Skin pale

Temperature raised

Worried to fall behind

Yet worried to stick it out.

I think the best thing to do

Is to close my eyes and rest.

Impressing Only One!

Are there times in your life that you feel like you don't fit in to "the LOOK" that society has laid out for this world?

• One must be so thin
• One must wear a certain thing
• One must act a certain way.

Why do we have to "fit in"?

There are days in my life that I feel like the Ugly Duckling,


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a character that has been portrayed to children for years upon years. He is the classic example of a creature that feels left out of life simply because he is rejected by his peers.


There are also more modern day interpretations of this classic tale.

For example:

There was a show on television that describes a rather "geeky" girl who was trying to survive in the cutthroat fashion world. This show was titled "Ugly Betty",
http://www.popkulturjunkie.de/pix/BetUgly.jpg

and although I didn't particularly care for the show, I did enjoy the overall concept. I think that the outside of a person judges too abruptly on the looks of people.
Now there are the obvious sayings that could be used as fuel to what I am arguing such as: Don't judge a book by its cover and so on and so on.
But I think that the only way to handle the fact that our world today tends to judge the way we look before they get to truly know us and who we are, is to figure out why such a thing is possibly done.

• These people could feel uncomfortable about themselves and therefore push the ridicule on an easy target.
• They could be so wrapped up in society that they forget that human beings are built with feelings.

Now I am not saying that fashion itself is evil, I am simply saying that there is, perhaps, too much emphasis on it. I think that you should wear what you want. Clothes allow a person to begin to express who they are. However, if you take one bite of a cake, do you now know all the ingredients.
So basically, in all this rambling I am trying to say that being "Cool" ,being "Normal" ,being "Stylish" is overrated. There is one person in this life that we should strive to impress, and that person could care less whether we are wearing $300 jeans or rags that were handed down from our brother. That person is God.
I'm going to leave you with one more thing. There is a chorus popular christian song that says,
"I'm not cool. That's okay. My God loves me anyway. I'm not cool. That's alright. I'm still precious in his sight."

No rules, No schedule, Just Running!

I decided that this year I would give my body a break and not run track. This decision is turning out to be a great choice on my part. The reason for this is that I can now regain the full joy of running again.

I realized that I had lost it in the cross season. I became too worried in what my teammates were thinking of me, or asking myself if I was going too slow and wondering if coach was going to have to stop me.




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Now that I'm on my own I can run just for me. Just to run. I can go as fast or as slow as I want. I can wear what I want without wondering what the others would think. I'm having fun again!

Yet, the downfall is the fact that I miss being part of a team.
I miss being part of a unit. I miss the various people and stories. I feel that without track the have no reason to hang out with me.







So that leaves me to make a choice.

Do I choose avoid being "Trackless" the rest of my years here?

Or do I participate in Cross Country and leave the track time to regain the "fun of the sport"?

My weekly game of musical chairs

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It happens every Tuesday:

I leave lecture and go right to work so my boss can go to lunch.

While I do this all of my friends go and eat their food.

When it is finally time for me to go fill my stomach,I am left with no one to sit with.

Now I know that this shouldn't bother me, but it does!

Not quite sure why. I just feel like I am being judged and evaluated by all of those in the lunchroom.

I guess this is just a sign that my confidence in myself, although better than it once was, is still not up to what it could be.

Or it could simply mean that I am not one of those people that can sit alone at lunch.

The Class is Over, Will the Blog Remain?

I hope that you have all enjoyed wandering over to this blog and reading and replying on my random thoughts and emotions. I really appreciate the opinions I have received on the various subjects that I have chosen to babble on about.
You might be asking yourself "Why is she thanking us for reading?" Well as many of you know, the class, which encouraged the start of this blog, is coming to an end. That leads me to the following choices:

• Go on with the blog just the way it is
• Take the Blog in a whole new direction
• Destroy the Blog and walk away

There is not anything that would make me attempt to preform the task required in number 3. I have put too much effort in this blog to just simply destroy it.

I don't think I like number 2 either. I like my blog just the way it is .

So to answer the question addressed above I reply, I am not saying goodbye to my blog. However, I am very aware that some of you are leaving the blogging world behind and so that is reason for my goodbye note!

Good bye,

And Thanks For Everything!

Trying to brush it off....But the disappointment follows me!

Why does this world have to be filled with disappointment?

Why is it that you can tell yourself that it's OK and it doesn't
matter, but somehow you get crushed anyway?

Why does there always have to be someone out there that is better than you?

I guess, the only true way to go about answering that question is that without competition; there would be no fun in the world.

And If there were 2 winners then that would defeat the purpose. There has to be a loser.

And yes, it is true, there are people in this world that are better than you. The point of life is to use that to better yourself. and keep in mind, someone is out there, saying that very thing, referring to you!

Got a Case of the Nerves!

As you all probably know, I am going to portraying a role in one of the shows playing this weekend. This morning I woke up, stared at the ceiling for a moment and then suddenly realized that it was Thursday, which meant it was opening night!! My heart started beating faster than I thought it ever could and seemed as if it was rattling my entire body! After that initial feeling began to wear off, a feeling of extreme excitement ran over me.

I can't say that I am use to feeling like this. This is my first role here at school and my first real role EVER!!!! A part of me is terrified that I will find some way to mess it up. However, the other part of me is confident that I know my character enough to know what I'm doing.

I hope the second part's right!

Opening that door

I'm sure I am not the only one in this world who has felt the throbbing pain that is left when there is a hole in your life where a person once was. I think it is the natural reaction to push that emotion and pain back. Yet there are times in life when it is triggered. It might be a word, phrase, or saying, or maybe a movie or song. It doesn't even matter what is the source of the triggering. The point is once those gates are open and our emotions flood out of our bodies like in the days of Noah, it is so hard to have them recollected and pushed back again.
Why can't we simply keep that door in our soul shut?Why must it be opened every now and again? Why must we feel that over and over again? Why can't we just nail that room shut and never visit again?
I think we have to except the fact that, as humans, we seem to have the inability to totally forget someone that meant something to you. Ask yourself this: Even though it hurts to reflect on those old thoughts, would you rather live life as though they do not exist.
By reliving these memories you are bringing them back in your life and acknowledging the fact that they did mean something to you. I believe that, in a way humans cease to die because they will also dwell in the minds and hearts of the ones that were closest to them.

If you wanna be my friend!

Last night, I came to the realization that one of my really close friends wasn't quite as close to me as I would have hoped and thought!
It got me thinking about the qualifications of a good friends. This is sort of a Do's and Don't's list, which I believe is known by mostly everyone!

* Always have your friend's back- never let someone hurt of damage them without a fight!
* Always tell them if something about them is bothering you!- by avoiding confrontation, you are only creating more tension.
* Never date an Ex of a friend shortly after the break-up
* Always treat your friend's significant others and friends with respect, even if you dislike them.
* Allow yourself to cool down before approaching your friend about an issue- you don't want to be in a state when you will blow up, yet you also don't want to wait too long.
* Always do what's best for your friend!

Halloween update!

In an earlier blog, I expressed my costume choosing mental block! I thought it would be only proper to tell you the outcome and the costume I ended up with.

Pippi Longstocking!!!!

I came to this choice because I absolutely adored this character as a kid. She was so funny and perky even though she was a little orphan girl. The costume wasn't really that difficult to conjure up.

The wig:

I originally bought a black wig. I then sprayed it with temporary red hair paint. The, with the help of my boyfriend stuck coat hangers in each side to make it stay up.

The rest of it:

For the completion of the outfit, I simple wore overall shorts, a gray T-shirt, mismatching long knee socks and white tennis shoes.