Time: Slippery Little Thing!

My life has been going in what seems like hyper speed lately. I came under this new philosophy my Junior year and still haven't decided if it was a good or bad one.
I came under the true realization that I only have two years at this place and wanted to make the most of it. I don't want to leave here regretting not trying something I wanted. So, in that I inhabited some new activities and now I am fearing that I may be overloaded. Is it worth it?
I think the overall thought behind it was a good one. However, like many things in life and the history of it, it perhaps wasn't followed through in the best manner.
I probably should have taken it one step at a time. The problem with this philosophy at the time was I was seeing my time here fading faster than a rainbow hours after a rain.
I think that this problem I have created for myself all comes down to a fear. I am afraid of leaving, therefore I feel as though I must create as many memories for myself as possible so I would never be able to run short.
What I have to realize is that sure I will leave this place, but the friends I made here won't go away with it. This place is stationary, but the people and the memories are far from it!

The Turtle in Me

This might sound utterly ridiculous but I swear there is a turtle-like quality about me.....

http://www.myvirtualpartyspace.com/images/scaredturtle.jpg

Let me explain.....

There are times and places in my life when I feel like I am truly being myself.....Outgoing, Energetic, Fun, Crazy

Then there are times when I feel like I'm hidden....like I have pulled myself into a shell and refuse to come out....I am then shy, quiet, and introverted....

It's odd because people seem to get two completely different views of me....... Some see the real me....Some only see the Turtle in me......

I believe in a way they both describe me and who I am, but I am just failing to find the power to control the two......I want to be......me....not a turtle.....I don't want to be locked away in a shell. I have worked so hard the last few years to rip away at the shell the society had created for me, and although I have accomplished much in that process, it is not completed yet. For the turtle inside me can still find pieces to crawl into and become hidden.......

The Real World's Knocking on My Door. Can I Act Like I'm Not Home?

So I just finished my sophomore year in college, and that means I am halfway through my college experience. Soon I will pushed out into the big bad world with nothing to help me but the degree in my hand in the bits of random knowledge in my head.

Even now, I am beginning to see my security blanklet slipping away, as I am handed more tasks to complete and more responsibilities to uphold.

Everyone says that these times, these college years are the best years of you life. They are right! The friends I have made in these last two years are friends that I intend to keep forever and I already have enough memories to last a lifetime. But what they fail to say is the pressure that lurks around the corner of these years. The real world is a scary thing, and is the only thing on a college student's mind, especially in the final two years.

Is my resume good enough?

Do I have enough experience?

Will I be able to answer all their questions?

Are we ready?

Time will only tell!

Warning to the Reader!!!

I wanted to take this time to explain the many poems that been seen on this blog lately. I am currently enrolled in a creative writing poetry class and want to share the work I am most proud of with my blog readers......

But I promise I will post one of my rants very soon.....

I just haven't had anything in my life to trigger one......

But just give it time......

For now, just enjoy the poetry!!!!!!~

No rules, No schedule, Just Running!

I decided that this year I would give my body a break and not run track. This decision is turning out to be a great choice on my part. The reason for this is that I can now regain the full joy of running again.

I realized that I had lost it in the cross season. I became too worried in what my teammates were thinking of me, or asking myself if I was going too slow and wondering if coach was going to have to stop me.




http://www.dyestatcal.com/image/6xc/September/07StinsonBRe/01%20WinnerARogerMarinAcad.jpg


Now that I'm on my own I can run just for me. Just to run. I can go as fast or as slow as I want. I can wear what I want without wondering what the others would think. I'm having fun again!

Yet, the downfall is the fact that I miss being part of a team.
I miss being part of a unit. I miss the various people and stories. I feel that without track the have no reason to hang out with me.







So that leaves me to make a choice.

Do I choose avoid being "Trackless" the rest of my years here?

Or do I participate in Cross Country and leave the track time to regain the "fun of the sport"?

The Class is Over, Will the Blog Remain?

I hope that you have all enjoyed wandering over to this blog and reading and replying on my random thoughts and emotions. I really appreciate the opinions I have received on the various subjects that I have chosen to babble on about.
You might be asking yourself "Why is she thanking us for reading?" Well as many of you know, the class, which encouraged the start of this blog, is coming to an end. That leads me to the following choices:

• Go on with the blog just the way it is
• Take the Blog in a whole new direction
• Destroy the Blog and walk away

There is not anything that would make me attempt to preform the task required in number 3. I have put too much effort in this blog to just simply destroy it.

I don't think I like number 2 either. I like my blog just the way it is .

So to answer the question addressed above I reply, I am not saying goodbye to my blog. However, I am very aware that some of you are leaving the blogging world behind and so that is reason for my goodbye note!

Good bye,

And Thanks For Everything!

Why so shy?

Everyone has that one thing they would change about themselves. For me it would have to be my confidence around others.
I don't like that it takes me so long to open up to someone. Last year someone even held that fact against me. She said "You've been around us for almost 6 months now and you still won't talk!"
I can't explain it. And I can't really change it. I guess we all have a quality about us that is so embedded in our system that no matter how hard we try, we cannot remove it.