The Turtle in Me

This might sound utterly ridiculous but I swear there is a turtle-like quality about me.....

http://www.myvirtualpartyspace.com/images/scaredturtle.jpg

Let me explain.....

There are times and places in my life when I feel like I am truly being myself.....Outgoing, Energetic, Fun, Crazy

Then there are times when I feel like I'm hidden....like I have pulled myself into a shell and refuse to come out....I am then shy, quiet, and introverted....

It's odd because people seem to get two completely different views of me....... Some see the real me....Some only see the Turtle in me......

I believe in a way they both describe me and who I am, but I am just failing to find the power to control the two......I want to be......me....not a turtle.....I don't want to be locked away in a shell. I have worked so hard the last few years to rip away at the shell the society had created for me, and although I have accomplished much in that process, it is not completed yet. For the turtle inside me can still find pieces to crawl into and become hidden.......

A Student’s Solitude

Solitude is like being the ghost in the crowd.
Screaming, Screeching, Shouting,
desperate to be heard.
Yet, my words seem to also be translucent and transparent.

What does it take to be noticed?
What does it take to make them see
that I am just as good as them,
just as smart,
just as talented,
just as qualified for the job of life?

What gives them the right to disregard me?
To treat me like week old milk?
To walk past me like I was a mutt at the pound that gets passed up for the puppies?
To declare me as someone undeserving of compassion and care?

Tell me,
What is wrong with me?
Tell me,
What can I change?
Tell me,
How can I make you happy?
Because that’s what it’s all about right?

Well I am tired of living my life for you!
I’m tired of trying to fit in!
I’m tired changing who I am!

So I have decided,
if you don’t like me,
and you have a good reason.
I will respect you.
But if you just dislike me simply because I’m quiet,
Then I’ll say “Right back at ya!”