Time: Slippery Little Thing!

My life has been going in what seems like hyper speed lately. I came under this new philosophy my Junior year and still haven't decided if it was a good or bad one.
I came under the true realization that I only have two years at this place and wanted to make the most of it. I don't want to leave here regretting not trying something I wanted. So, in that I inhabited some new activities and now I am fearing that I may be overloaded. Is it worth it?
I think the overall thought behind it was a good one. However, like many things in life and the history of it, it perhaps wasn't followed through in the best manner.
I probably should have taken it one step at a time. The problem with this philosophy at the time was I was seeing my time here fading faster than a rainbow hours after a rain.
I think that this problem I have created for myself all comes down to a fear. I am afraid of leaving, therefore I feel as though I must create as many memories for myself as possible so I would never be able to run short.
What I have to realize is that sure I will leave this place, but the friends I made here won't go away with it. This place is stationary, but the people and the memories are far from it!

Afraid to Fail

This is one of those days where I feel like the world is crashing in around me....and all I can really do is stand there, watch it fall, and try my hardest not to get smashed by one of the pieces.
I feel like the world is asking a lot from me, and even though I know this is a good thing, I am afraid the world is going to one day attempt to withdraw once more from my ATM of duties, only to find they have run it dry.
I think my problem is I am so afraid to fail...so afraid to fall....that I am actually holding myself back!
I just pray that I can be given the patience to deal with these emotions fighting inside of me and hope that soon....my fear of failing will subside!

The Real World's Knocking on My Door. Can I Act Like I'm Not Home?

So I just finished my sophomore year in college, and that means I am halfway through my college experience. Soon I will pushed out into the big bad world with nothing to help me but the degree in my hand in the bits of random knowledge in my head.

Even now, I am beginning to see my security blanklet slipping away, as I am handed more tasks to complete and more responsibilities to uphold.

Everyone says that these times, these college years are the best years of you life. They are right! The friends I have made in these last two years are friends that I intend to keep forever and I already have enough memories to last a lifetime. But what they fail to say is the pressure that lurks around the corner of these years. The real world is a scary thing, and is the only thing on a college student's mind, especially in the final two years.

Is my resume good enough?

Do I have enough experience?

Will I be able to answer all their questions?

Are we ready?

Time will only tell!

Got a Case of the Nerves!

As you all probably know, I am going to portraying a role in one of the shows playing this weekend. This morning I woke up, stared at the ceiling for a moment and then suddenly realized that it was Thursday, which meant it was opening night!! My heart started beating faster than I thought it ever could and seemed as if it was rattling my entire body! After that initial feeling began to wear off, a feeling of extreme excitement ran over me.

I can't say that I am use to feeling like this. This is my first role here at school and my first real role EVER!!!! A part of me is terrified that I will find some way to mess it up. However, the other part of me is confident that I know my character enough to know what I'm doing.

I hope the second part's right!

My Reality Check

Last night I had a scary revelation, which I guess I had already known, it just was not very clear until that moment:
The World is full of Pressure!!!!
And what got me to finally expect this fact was my panic attack in Walmart yesterday!..... I needed some items so I made the trip with my roomie. As I was shopping, I decided it would be a smart thing to check my checking balance. That's what triggered the attack! I had only $9 in my account!!!!!.....I was floored! I had been keeping a close eye on my account! How did this happen!? Luckily,my boyfriend had paid me the phone bill earlier that day so I had cash on me. But for some reason, I was really dizzy and couldn't really walk. It was really scary. For the first time I felt how short my life could actually be! I also realized that by constantly reacting to the pressure life throws at me, I am only making that time shorter.