Time: Slippery Little Thing!

My life has been going in what seems like hyper speed lately. I came under this new philosophy my Junior year and still haven't decided if it was a good or bad one.
I came under the true realization that I only have two years at this place and wanted to make the most of it. I don't want to leave here regretting not trying something I wanted. So, in that I inhabited some new activities and now I am fearing that I may be overloaded. Is it worth it?
I think the overall thought behind it was a good one. However, like many things in life and the history of it, it perhaps wasn't followed through in the best manner.
I probably should have taken it one step at a time. The problem with this philosophy at the time was I was seeing my time here fading faster than a rainbow hours after a rain.
I think that this problem I have created for myself all comes down to a fear. I am afraid of leaving, therefore I feel as though I must create as many memories for myself as possible so I would never be able to run short.
What I have to realize is that sure I will leave this place, but the friends I made here won't go away with it. This place is stationary, but the people and the memories are far from it!

The Turtle in Me

This might sound utterly ridiculous but I swear there is a turtle-like quality about me.....

http://www.myvirtualpartyspace.com/images/scaredturtle.jpg

Let me explain.....

There are times and places in my life when I feel like I am truly being myself.....Outgoing, Energetic, Fun, Crazy

Then there are times when I feel like I'm hidden....like I have pulled myself into a shell and refuse to come out....I am then shy, quiet, and introverted....

It's odd because people seem to get two completely different views of me....... Some see the real me....Some only see the Turtle in me......

I believe in a way they both describe me and who I am, but I am just failing to find the power to control the two......I want to be......me....not a turtle.....I don't want to be locked away in a shell. I have worked so hard the last few years to rip away at the shell the society had created for me, and although I have accomplished much in that process, it is not completed yet. For the turtle inside me can still find pieces to crawl into and become hidden.......

Afraid to Fail

This is one of those days where I feel like the world is crashing in around me....and all I can really do is stand there, watch it fall, and try my hardest not to get smashed by one of the pieces.
I feel like the world is asking a lot from me, and even though I know this is a good thing, I am afraid the world is going to one day attempt to withdraw once more from my ATM of duties, only to find they have run it dry.
I think my problem is I am so afraid to fail...so afraid to fall....that I am actually holding myself back!
I just pray that I can be given the patience to deal with these emotions fighting inside of me and hope that soon....my fear of failing will subside!